Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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