Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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