Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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