Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
