Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to calm my uterus...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
