I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
