My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
