im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
