Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
