Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
nutella sex= disaster
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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