honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
