So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So much Jack, so little girl.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
