sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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