I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize