having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
