Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
