the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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