Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
