Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
