What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
