im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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