I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
