Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
