i will never coherently bang her
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
