If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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