Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize