What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
time to smoke my breakfast
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
