Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
