i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
