PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
