Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you told grandpa to call you daddy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
