So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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