So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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