Umm I'm too high to move.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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