He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
