What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
