The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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