just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
