Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
