We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
