Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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