I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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