I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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