his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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