Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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