All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
