Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
