I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize