I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
