Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
