my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
