I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
