that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
