well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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