Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
