I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
