he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is wine microwaveable?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
