Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
