How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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