I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
