She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
