It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
