he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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