Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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