I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
