so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
