I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
