Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he puts the penis in happiness.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
