the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
