No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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