Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
