is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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