considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
