Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize