How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
