she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
