I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
